Adios Mikey!

Yesterday I was at Nickelodeon in Burbank picking up some work. While the computer guy was rendering out the animatic I walked over to the kitchen, through a crowd of ten-year-old kids and their stage mommies and daddies sitting nervously in the lounge waiting for an audition for some new show. I was getting myself a diet coke and cursing the pile of domino boxes for their emptiness CNN on the bigscreen announced 'BREAKING NEWS!' Breaking news in LA is usually a brush fire, a shoot-out or a car chase but in this case the announcer went nuclear...Micheal Jackson was dead! The North Koreans are aiming nukes at Hawaii, the Iranian protesters are having their legs broken with lead pipes and their faces slashed with straight-edged razors, the Chinese are demanding an alternative currency to the dollar, a virulent strain of the flu is engulfing the human race and the US government is taking affirmative steps to achieve the same standard of living for its citizens as exists in Jamaica; all this silly trivia was pushed aside in a second as a fleet of helicopters became airborne and began doing large circles between Jacko's rented pad up in the hills and UCLA Med Center down in Westwood.

It brought me back to the late eighties. It was a tough time in the animation biz. Hanna had sold out and Hanna Barbera was closed. The Disney debacle was happening and the hapless Disney family had paid some greenmailer so much money to drop his hostile take-over and 'The Black cauldron', one of the worst animated movies ever made, had lost so much money that they were making drastic staff cuts.

I was working for Filmation and moonlighting by doing special effects on rock videos. I did one very tricky and complicated job for this guy that had a small production house down in Hollywood and he called me in to his pot-smoke filled office one evening and offered me a gig working on Micheal Jackson's movie 'Moonwalker'. It was a substantial raise from being an FX animator on 'He-Man' and working at Filmation was depressing. When I told the head of the FX department I was quitting he went ballistic and screamed I just lost my seniority (a joke) and that I'd never work there again. He was right--Loreal bought the studio and closed it three weeks later, putting the entire 600-person staff out of work with little hope of getting another animation job. That was the first benefit I got by working for Mikey.

My 'boss' was an editor named Dale, a condom advocate in his free time who had his little office plastered with Captain Condom posters. My bigger boss was named Jerry an entertainment lawyer who decided he was a director and had such a strong personality that no one dared to argue with him about it. He and Mikey's manager Frank, a rotund Italian gentleman who looked like the kind of guy who kept a torture chamber in the cellar of his mansion for those carefree moments when he wasnt intimidating poeple in his professional life, were running the show.

This wasnt one of those jobs where you actually had to go there every day and show up at some arbitrary time, two of the worst aspects of any employment in my mind. We would think of stuff we wanted to do and write it down on a legal pad and Dale would get in his bashed-up VW bug and chug over the hill to Mikey's parents pad on Havenhurst in Encino where he was living at the time and Mikey would give the go-ahead or tell Dale to come up with something else. It fried Jerry that Mikey and Dale got on so well.

Jerry grew to hate Mikey with a passion. They would set up a shoot and tell Mikey to do something and he would say no. A director's nightmare and Jerry's own personal hell. He was definitely not used to hearing the word 'no' without 'problem' following it closely. But Mikey had the whip-hand and he used it on mean people who thought he was a wimp who could be bullied. Jerry was a slave to Mikey's quirks. he sat in meetings where twelve year old friends of Mikey (one of them know around the studio as Jimmy Sure-Shot) had more input than executives from Paramount. Jerry was known to smash furniture and throw loud tantrums after these meetings.

I would go over to 'Ultimate', the name of the studio, whenever they phoned me up or when I had something to show them. It was right across from Cedars Sinai in West Hollywood, the part of town with the most screwed-up traffic and legendary for its voracious parking meters. All of the few spaces at Ultimate were assigned but if you parked in a space on the street and got a ticket you could just lay it on the accountant and they would happily pay it. I could go into any art store and buy any art supplies that I needed and be instantly reimbursed in cash with no questions asked. My conscience still rankles at the beautiful set of paintbrushes that I purchased, used on one shot and kept. There were others with less conscience, but they were fools. this is a small town and getting a reputation as a sleaze can cost you a lot more than you can steal from an open-handed employer like Mikey.

On Fridays I would drop by to get my check. The head accountant, an extremely beautiful, elegantly-coiffed gay guy had a gray box full of cash that had 'Micheal' painted on the side. 'Michael' took anyone who wanted to go to lunch. 'Michael' didnt take us to Pinks on Melrose for a sidewalk chili dog, either. One drop of Pink's chili would have caused hundreds of dollars of damage to some of the outfits that were worn so fashionably by the 'Ultimate' staff so we restricted our jaunts to restaurants in Beverly Hills or on the Westside that were a little more upscale. The first time I opened a menu in one of those joints in almost lost control of my sphincter muscles. Appetizers were fifty bucks, and this was in the eighties when prices were 50% lower than they are now.

"I know it makes you nervous but you have to order an appetizer or we'll all be real mad," teased one of the women. When I got home and told my wife I'd just had a $200 lunch she got mad and asked whether I could have just asked for my share of the lunch in cash. No, that would have been uncool and being uncool was the worst thing you could have done. 'Michael' took us to some amazing joints, as Gary, the controller, knew all the best little bistros in downtown BH.

One sunny Sunday my daughter and her friends were playing out front and Katy was hit by a car and rushed to the hospital. I phoned up the office and told them what had happened and that I wouldnt be able to work for at least a week. The accountant phoned me back and said that they had mentioned it to Michael and he had told them just to mail me my checks for the next three weeks and to not worry about working. The next day we were sitting by Katy's hospital bed when a burly guy came in wheeling a gigantic monstrosity of a flower display. There were balloons with teddy bears inside of them peaking out of the exotic flowers. Everyone at Ultimate had signed the card and Dale had run over to Encino and gotten the MJJ scrawl. The hospital staff were suitably impressed.

I would do a lot of my shooting down at a tiny animation camera service down in Hollywood. That left me in a crime-filled part of town at two am, rushing the exposed film from the camera service to CFI to get there before the overnights turned into expensive daylights. The cameraman I worked with was this cat named Chris who would occasionally stop shooting to snort lines of coke off of a grubby mirror. He called it 'go powder'. I had reformed myself by that time but was still in the game enough to spot the tell-tale yellow of methedrine mixed in with the crap he was snorting. He didnt care. We would work all night sometimes. Shooting whatever variations we could think of.

Mikey was doing one of his incognito journeys down to the beach in Venice and found an old wino who had a guitar, a drum on his back attached to a string and a harmonica wired to his face who called himself 'The Amazing One-Man Band'. Michael paid him $100,000 or some vast sum to be in 'Moonwalker'. Jerry went ballistic, screaming that he could have hired this jerk for fifty bucks. Jerry hated when people wasted money without him getting a chunk; it was a kind of focused thriftiness. But he hired several camera crews and a temporary editor and a couple of assistants to deal with the hundreds of feet of film they were shooting down in Venice. Somehow Pepsi donated a huge amount of soda to the shoot. The small offices of Ultimate were filled with cases of Pepsi and Sprite. When I turned up that day they said that I had to take as many cases as my tiny Datsun would hold. My wife cracked up when I turned up back home with thirty cases of soda loaded into my car, the hatchback tied with twine to allow more cases. One of the assistant editors on this sequence was this guy from Texas who would tell tales of wandering around bars in Hollywood with the guy who played 'Data' on the new Star Trek, looking for women. He was Data's wing man. They worked like fury on this for several weeks. Meanwhile Mikey split for a tour in Europe. Jerry cut the sequence together, flew to Rome, rented a movie theater and grabbed Mikey (not easy) to screen 'The Amazing One Man Band' sequence. Michael turned to him and said, "That's really nice Jerry but I dont think it fits." And walked out. We were all ducking Jerry for the next couple of weeks after he got back. He was in a rage.for a week after he got back.

The rap party was a hoot. The band he had toured with, including Cheryl Crow, was there. They rented the posh DGA theater on Wilshire. There was a mountain of shrimp and lobster and a fountain that poured liquid chocolate onto a mountain of strawberries. Moet Chandon flowed like water.

As the production ended Michael's tour played LA, down at the sports arena. there were tons of tickets floating around Ultimate and I went to see him twice. Both times he was fantastic. You shouldnt be allowed to say anything about Mikey if you've never seen him perform live. I've seen James Brown. Bob Marley, Pavarotti, and a million others and Mikey was The King Of Pop! He rocked. the show was wonderful. the crowd responded to every move with hysterical applause and delight. He was the best.

So now he's dead. Everybody is obsessing about what a freak he turned into one more time but there should be a word about the kind side of MJJ. He saved me from a terrible year of unemployment, paid me highly, let me dream up my own projects and, although I never met him personally, sent me some really complimentary messages through Dale. He hated hustlers and bullies and although he didnt have any personal contact with the artists who worked for him he treated us with kindness and respect. He had a horrible life. People who are happy dont shoot up demerol. He had something that the crowd loved and that love killed him. This is the biggest celebrity death since Elvis. I hope his torments are over. Rest In Peace, Mikey.

National Humiliation

In 1945 an ailing president, who never should have been elected to a fourth term, negotiated a treaty at Yalta that betrayed our British allies and turned over to a dictator who was as brutal as Hitler half of a continent. Stalin, who had proven himself a craven coward in his negotiations and alliance with Hitler had no fear of the capitalist democracies. FDR was more concerned about British colonialism than he was about the ten percent of Eastern Europe who would be shipped east into the gaping maw of the Gulag. In fact, FDR and most Democrats at the time saw Stalin as a benign progressive ally. They had the same lack of belief that the Gulag existed as they had about Hitler's death camps. FDR never did one single thing or uttered one word of protest about either. FDR had ignored Stalin's mass murder in the countryside during the collectivization drive of the early thirties, the mass arrests in the cities in the late thirties and the alliance with Hitler.
The Yalta Treaty was a day of national humiliation for a nation that had the only viable economy in the world and was near to testing nuclear weapons. It cost us a half-century of Cold War.

Sixteen years later our country had elected an amphetamine-popping magazine-ad pretty boy
with no experience doing anything substantial because of an impressive PR campaign orchestrated by his gangster father. The first response from Nikita Khrushchev to the election of this hapless effete Harvard weakling was to build a wall between East and West Berlin, an action he wouldnt dare take during Eisenhower's tenure. JFKs response was to fly to Berlin and announce that he was a doughnut. That cringing weakness encouraged the thug Khrushchev, who had been one of the clique of gangsters who had murdered their boss when it looked like he was going to conduct a purge against them, to become more aggressive and build bases for nuclear-tipped missiles ninety miles away from us in Cuba. The Air Force wanted to bomb the sites before they were operational. That was too much for a weakling like JFK. He ordered the Navy to board the missile-carrying ships and turn them around. In the subsequent negotiations he traded the removal of US missiles from Turkey for the Soviet removal of the one's in Cuba. We've been hearing about this humiliating show of weakness for the last half-century, presented as the sole triumph of our fallen Martyr.

But the fallen Martyr was replaced by LBJ, a protege of FDR who dreamed of a new New Deal, The Great Society! The mess the Kennedy brothers had created in Vietnam by conniving in the assassination of the strongman Diem slowly exerted a gravitational pull. Johnson dithered. The NVA and VC didnt respect the borders of Laos and Cambodia but LBJ did. He always shrank from strong measures, thinking he could bribe Ho Chi Minh into a negotiated settlement. When the VC emerged from their ratholes to be slaughtered in the Tet Offensive Johnson ignored his military, who wanted to follow up their victory and end the war, and instead listened to the wimpish sniveling of Walter Cronkite and the rest of the peacenik media and ordered the army to go on the defensive while he dropped out of the presidential race, called a bombing halt and pleaded for negotiations. That speech that he gave that day in March was another national humiliation, unnecessary and unearned, throwing away victory in a storm of self-pity and cowardice fomented by another Democrat.

How can I catalog the humiliations of the Carter Years? There are so many! The Canal given away? The soulful kiss to Brezhnev in Vienna as they signed a Salt II treaty that guaranteed Soviet superiority in Europe? His refusal to stop the Cubans in their invasion of Katanga? His endorsement of the Soviet-run bloodbath in the Horn Of Africa? His cringingly weak response to their seizure of Afghanistan? No, when I think of Jimmy The Jerk I see him cringing, trembling in the White House, cowed by a tenth-rate Middle Eastern country who had violated international law by taking everyone in our embassy there hostage. He could have announced a B-52 strike to level the holy city of Qom in seventy-two hours unless the hostages were released. The mullahs had just purged the Air Force of all their Palevi-oriented pilots (all of them) and had NO defenses of any sort. Instead of demanding the hostages at the point of a gun Jimmy The Jerk decided, after months of hand-wringing, to steal the hostages back from the mullahs. I remember the humiliation that I felt as the sad story of our failed 'rescue mission' was related on the news. It was a humiliation our entire country felt.

You could say that Ford sitting idle while the NVA violated the Paris Peace Accords was such a moment but his hands were tied by a Democrat-dominated Congress determined to hand the South Vietnamese over to slavery and death. Reagan not responding to the attack in Beirut and Bush 41's refusal to destroy the Republican Gaurds, both at the behest of Colin Powell, were equally humiliating but both of those presidents had shown the will and the nerve to stand up for our country's interests in most other areas and Reagan rebuilt the military after the years of Congressional rule under the weaklings Ford and Carter.

With BJ Clinton it was back to the national humiliations we have come to expect of Democrats. These arent misjudgments taken in response to bad advice like those of Reagan and Bush, these are conscious decisions taken because their knowledge of the nature of reality is flawed. The Clintonoids included a top economic adviser who did her doctoral dissertation lauding the economic system of Ceausescu's Romania. Clinton bugged out of Somalia after eighteen Rangers were killed as a result of his trying to conduct that operation on the cheap and in tandem with the incompetent UN. He refused to take custody of Bin Laden when the Sudanese offered to deliver him to US custody. His 'response' to the embassy bombings in East Africa was so ineptly done and was so obviously driven by his need to divert attention from his committing perjury on national television that it enters the list of national humiliations along with BJ and The Little Woman openly taking bribes from the Chicoms. The Great BJ humiliation moment is when he stood in Tienanmen Square, scene of a bloody massacre by the People's Liberation Army of people demanding basic political rights, with his hand over his heart as that same People's Liberation Army marched past.

But then there was Bush. He was forced by events to stand up for his country. His reward from the Democrats was rage. He was compared to Hitler. He was said to have lied to invade a completely innocent nation that was no threat to us or our interests. The Islamonazi opponents of our country were invited to left-wing universities and lauded, even ones who openly admitted oppressing women and executing homosexuals. Even if you take the clownish attempts by Condi to roadmap the blood feud between the Arabs and the Israelis Bush actually had a fairly strong foriegn policy. He refused to participate in the idiocy of Global Warming, an attempt to hobble the industrialized countries and transfer wealth to the developing world.

But today our national humiliation is back on track. Our President has made a speech in Cairo that should make everyone stupid enough to have voted for a back-bench do-nothing first term Senator, a radical who spouts the most errant nonsense as though it is revealed truth, to hang their heads in shame. To watch his facile butt-kissing to 'The Muslim World', assalaam alykum, was to burn with shame. Barry mentioned that he was a Christian, a Reverend Jeremiah Wright Christian of course, but then waxed poetic about Islam in a way that should make anyone with any knowledge of history raise an eyebrow. His family comes from a long line of Muslims in East Africa, did they? And who were the Muslims in East Africa? They were slave traders thats who they were. Barry is proud that he comes from a long line of slave traders! It got worse. If you have any friends in Israel phone them up now and tell them how much you care about them...they might not be around much longer. He called for total Hamas control of the West Bank and Gaza; for the Israelis to accept the right of Hamas to shoot missiles across its border without response: for the right of Iran to nuclear power (so it seems our enemies can drill for oil and build nuke plants and we're stuck with a bunch of lousy windmills).

If you voted for this pumpkin-headed 'student of history', every one of whose examples of Islamic achievements were so wrong-headed as to be laughable, then you're as ignorant as he is. This radical clap-trap in the interest of sucking up to what the geniuses in Hillary's state department mistake for some monolithic ethnic interest group,'The Moslem World', but what is in fact a continental-sized, extremely diverse mass of ethnicities, shows how ignorant and misguided the Obamunists are. What is the goal of this nonsense? How does it advance our interests? Do they really think the entire world is going to turn into a larger version of the European Parliament? Isnt that a fundamental misunderstanding of human nature and history?

If his knowledge of history doesnt include any knowledge of the contribution of the Greeks to algebra, the Chinese and Gutenberg's development of printing, and all the rest of the things he got wrong in that passage about 'Muslim contributions' then you have to wonder about the quality of the rest of his thinking. This part of the speech sounded like a manifesto issued by some sophomore in Political Science at Harvard, trying to get a 'B' in his Modern Ethnic Studies class taught by a William Ayres-type dessicated sixties radical by making up phony 'achievements' for a favored ethnic group. Because of the education they received these geniuses have the most screwed-up perspective on the world that its possible to have. They're as ignorant as the Clintonista who praised the Romanian economy in her dissertation and as ignorant as the academics who awarded her a PhD for her efforts. Everything they know is wrong. And you elected them because Barry wasnt that ugly old Bush or that snarling old McLame. He promised something new but he's turned out to be a standard left-wing radical. Hugo Chavez is making jokes that him and Fidel are to the right of Comrade Obama. But its not a joke. Barry is what would have happened if Henry Wallace had been kept as Vice President in 1944. He is what would have happened if Adlai had beat Ike.

One more outrage. Women's Rights. Barry's take on this was that Pakistan, Bangla Desh, and Indonesia all had had women presidents but the US needs to struggle with women's equality! Of course, if it wasnt for him we would be cursed with a woman president, and I still thank him for that; but what did our Secretary Of State think of that passage? But the implication is that we have a lot to learn about Women's Rights from our new Muslim friends.
He made these remarks in a city where young girls routinely have their clitoris removed without anesthetic by the exacto-knife wielding local witch woman so that they wont be able to feel sexual pleasure and disgrace their families in the eyes of God. 'Honor' killings and the killings of young wives for their dowries happen all the time in Cairo. If a wife disagrees with her husband he is within his legal rights to beat her as severly as he feels she needs. He can divorce her in an instant any time he likes and keep 100% of the marital assets and the children, who are his property, if he wants them. Woman are not welcome in many public places without a male relative accompanying them. Is Obama calling this the direction we have to 'struggle' toward?

This speech was a disgrace. Its a disgrace to the people who voted this politically-correct ignoramus and his Ivy League crew of muddle-headed Stalinists into power. The people who cringed at every timid reference by Bush to Christianity are gushing with joy at 'assalaam alykum'-- a wish of Peace given only to fellow Muslims! So today we have another chapter in the national humiliation delivered to our once-proud nation by a series of liberals. They've gotten progressively worse until we have arrived at the bottom with Barry. He praises savagely brutal systems and denigrates freedom in our own country. He has put us under the thumb of the Chicoms by his reckless spending and under the thumb of OPEC by his refusal to consider a rational energy policy and now he's crawling to our enemies in the pathetic hope that they'll 'like us'. I fear for my country.

Sonia, Darling! I Love You!

Wait a goldanged minute! I forgot that I was a Born-Again Moderate there for a second. Maybe its time to put on my Moderate Cap and give Sonia Sockmonster a second look. As I travel around the Right Wing Blogger's trail and twist my dial around the AM band from extremist radio show to crackpot incendiary talk host all I hear is people moaning and yelling on behalf of those poor, mistreated firedudes in Connecticut. Unfortunate victims of racism by the Sockmonster, it turns out. Poor old dyslexic Ricci actually studied for this exam while his black colleagues were undoubtedly sitting at home watched the NBA playoffs and downing a few brews, waiting for the quotas to kick in. IS THIS AMERICA? GRRRRRR...

As a resident of the Great Bankrupt State Of Gollyvornia (renamed by The Jerkinator) I'm used to seeing firefighters as victims of injustice. Every time the Powers That Be in the Democrat dominated state legislature are too cowardly to enact some new outrage against the moronic, mouth-breathers who elected this egregious pack of wild-spending hippies and Mexican Marxists to that Love-In in Sacramento in the usual landslide, these same 'legislators' put whatever bad idea they cant bring themselves to openly support on the ballot as a referendum. A bankrupt state 'investing' $3 billion bucks on embryonic stem-cell research? Won by a landslide! The Jerkinator wanted to sock a giant tax increase to us just this month so they put it up for a special election.

Because the usual gang of idiots were too lazy to vote in a special election the state was saved from this latest outrage by a bunch of Tea Baggers, now so angry at the disastrous onset of Obamunism and the stupidity of their fellow citizens that they flocked to the polls and voted the measures to extinction in a 10% turnout with the zombies at home watching Oprah and exercising their rights conferred by Bowers vs Hardwick. But the Dummycraps tried their best to inflict this new outrage on an overtaxed population. They spent a huge amount of money on ads calling on us to more fully fund the Megastate. Almost all of the hundreds of millions spent came from the coffers of the public employee unions.

And when Public Employee Unions want to put their hands more deeply into your pocket and give you the old Big Government testicular squeeze what do they do? They hire some Hollywood actor and stick him in a fireman's suit, hand him an ax and put him on TV. Please, this Hero Of Combustion implores, dont let them lay me and my heroic, civic-minded pals off. Taxes arent high enough for us to afford for Gollyvornia to ambulance every illegal alien with a sore throat to free medical care, pay worthless political cronies giant consulting fees to conduct useless studies to determine just why all the programs the government inspires are ineffective. We're not taxing enough to be paying billions for useless windmills and solar panels that break after two weeks. We dont shell out enough taxes for every state employee to have a brand new state-provided hybrid car or for those giant towers full of educational bureaucrats AND also to put out any fires that might break out. Taxes are just too darned low and obviously the low-priority firefighters are going to be the first to go in any budget cuts before any of the vital windmills and bureaucrats.

Now we know these arent real firemen we're seeing on TV ads. They're the kind of Firey Adonises who fight giant five thousand degree chemical blazes with their shirts off, the flickering glow playing across their freshly-waxed, magnificently toned pecs in movies like 'Backdraft'. Chick porn firefighters. They use their super-long hoses to quench the flames in your heart. The ones in the ads have eyes like sad basset hounds. PLEASE! DONT TAKE MY JOB, YOU MEANIES! Those poor, underpaid paragons have enough dough to saturate every media market in this hugely expensive state with ads on every channel from morning to night. No broadcast network station is too big or cable outlet too small for you to avoid the soulful big eyes of these firejerks as they plead for you to push the state and yourself a little closer to insolvency on their behalf.

Which brings us, inevitably to Ricci vs Destephano, the case that supposedly defines Sonia Sockmonster as unfit, because of her racist views, to be a member of the Supremes. It turns out that Reese is a dyslexic who had to get a friend to read the test manuals into a tape recorder so he could study up for the exam. Some delightful Keystone Kop images of him pointing his high-pressure hose in the wrong direction occur to one but I'll resist the temptation to go whole hog, as a moderate must. The blogs and the airwaves are full of loud wails on behalf of Ricci and his white buddies, so severely treated by La Sockmonster in her clumsily-worded, semi-literate, one-paragraph 'decision'. It was a decision so short and lacking in substance that our Esteemed Master Of Hope And Change was able to take some time out from fixing the weather and the health care system in his busy four-hour workday to actually read the entire decision from beginning to end and be suitably impressed before his afternoon round on the golf course. It dripped with empathy and compassion and The Father Of The Nation decided to give the Gift Of Compassion to every American by placing this not-too-bright, angry, left-wing judicial anarchistic legislator on The Court.

Should we be upset on behalf of the dirty deal done to Ricci and the boys? Maybe. Maybe not. After all, even though Reese doesnt have the sad eyes, waxed torso and elegantly-styled hair of one of our beloved TV firemen he is a member of a left-wing public employee union in a left wing state. The only Republiclowns who ever get elected in Connecticut are oleaginous worms like Lowell Weiker or Chris Shays (who was apparently too 'right wing' to hang on to his seat) who routinely cause nausea and seasickness amongst their Republiclown brethren when they turn up at conventions and are mobbed by the left-wing media hoping for, and usually receiving, embarrassing statements reviling the nominee. Not that a single one of those fire dorks ever voted for even a liberal Republiclown in their wildest dreams.

Thats right. When the Kelo vs. New London decision said it was alright for corrupt city officials to seize people's homes and sell them to crooked developers to raise additional tax and bribe money was the mass demonstration that didnt happen led by an angry contingent from the New Haven Firefighter's Union? When that sniveling, sanctimonious hypocrite liberal Marxist Lieberman ran for reelection or the cravenly corrupt Stalinist Dodd-erer, who played a key role in wrecking our banking system while he was very publicly pocketing huge bribes from sleazy criminals announced his candidacy, did he hear from the center of resistance that was developing in the heart of the staunchly pro-freedom, clean government gang down at the firehouse in New Haven? Not a dickey-bird from these Hope And Change Obama voters.

If the chickens vote for Colonel Sanders should we cry when we find them in the cardboard bucket deep fried and covered with batter? These guys are Democrats and have been all their lives. Affirmative Action has been around a long time and it always was nothing more than a racial quota system that ignored qualifications in favor of group rights. These DEMOCRATS voted for it again and again. So now you studied for the test, passed it and didnt get the job? Too darned bad Fire Dopes! This is the world you chose. You wanted to be in a cushy class of highly-paid employees with total job security and a pension plan that somebody would have to be a millionaire to afford in the private sector. That comes with the affirmative action baggage attached, in case you didnt notice.

So Sockmonster is a good fit for a system that could elect a loser like Obama and sixty senators all devoted to destroying everything that made this country a success. Ricci and the others got exactly what they deserved under a system where laws have been replaced by compassion and empathy. Lets hope they have their hoses ready when Global Warming sets the world on fire.

Chicks And Balances!

Some of us hard-boiled misogynistic right wing dinosaurs might be a little behind the curve on this New Woman thing. We always make such a big deal about the ‘original intent’ without being able to perceive the penumbras of the emanations. George Washington predicted in one of his best graphic novels “Georgie Goes To Girly World’ that one day, in less enlightened times, the defense of the concept of lap-dancing as Free Speech would fall on the courts.
“One day the government will be handing hurricane victims vouchers that will allow them to exercise this important freedom to the fullest,” he opined, hopefully dreaming of an expansion of government services unforeseen by the less visionary Madison, Adams and Jefferson. Washington continued, “To protect our unique lifestyle choices we need justices on the Supreme Court who aren’t afraid to expand the Constitution beyond its written limits in the name of compassion and fairness.”
The next greatest President to Washington or even better than that, possibly, has heard George’s plea across the centuries. Wiser than his years and limited legislative experience would suggest, Our Maximum Leader, The Friend Of The Auto Workers has searched far and wide for the perfect person for the Supreme Court vacancy left by the departure of one of the most slimy, inarticulate weasels ever to curse the jurisprudence of a declining nation. He was the Booby Prize we received for caving in to the left on Bork, the kind of Republican the left likes…to wit, a commie in a monkey suit. A guy who thinks it’s a great idea to let corrupt city councils use eminent domain to seize private residences and sell them to crooked developers who promise to fork over higher taxes and bribes. That’s why they would cite the Yemenese Constitution for authority on stuff like that.
But the Master Of The Teleprompter, in his wisdom, has reached out into the Pool Of The Compassionate and extracted one Sonia Chinga-mejor…did I get that right? These Mexican names always throw me off. Anyway Barry checked out Sapphomoisture’s papers and hired her. He picked her because…she’s a Chick, and doesn’t the penumbra emanating from the Constitution demand Chicks and Balances? Now Ruth Vader G will not only have someone else on the court with the memory of what it is to be a thirteen-year-old girl but she have a pal in Sagmaster who still retains the average thirteen-year-old girl’s knowledge of Constitutional Law. But, as Barry so sagely pointed out when he announced Sonia’s canonization, it was all about feelings. He didn’t mention the constitution. Isn’t a Hispanic woman more likely to rule us pitiful slobs with empathy and compassion? When a bunch of white bucks were getting ‘uppity’ in Connecticut, passing their promotion exams just to make minorities feel bad, Sonia Sockmonster wrote a one-paragraph opinion that sent those Fitzies back to the potato patch! Our Elected Demi-God swooned as Soggymugger announced that the Constitution didn’t contain any rights for white firemen that a Compassionate Woman Of Color was bound to respect. You know, the Pro-Active Constitution that The Annointed One claims was written to mandate redistribution of wealth…

Hey! But we’ve got other branches of government too, just as important as the courts, and once again the babes are making their mark! Think of it, the first female Speakerette Of The House! Nan’s a wowser! What does a gal do when the Chief Exec’s power-mad Chief Of Staff sics the White House’s media pack on her? She goes to China to talk about…North Korean missiles and nukes? Nope. The growing US indebtedness and the Chinese calls for a non-dollar world reserve currency? Not exactly. Our Chief Lawmakeress got out of Dodge with the posse at her heels and fled to Beijing to talk about Global Warming! SHE’S SAVING THE PLANET! How did we ever get along without the woman’s touch behind the gavel? I’ll bet them Chicom dictators are mighty impressed, too.

Now some of you, the ones who went to school in the fifties or earlier when they still taught these things, or those of you who might have flunked your immigration exam, are getting ready to e-mail me and remind me that we have three whole branches in this here government! Now of course the Executive Branch is headed by The Majority Winner, The Man Who Crushed The Evil Bankers, The Fixer Of The Weather, El Presidente. But even a savant who eats sleeps walks talks lives Compassion for us poor ignorant insects, who looks after our welfare like a Father, who shines upon us like a Mighty Sun of Compassion, needs help to accomplish his massive Good Works with such consummate skill. And who is more of a help and support to The One than Hillary? With the inspiring moral example of a president who is engaged in muzzling and threatening prosecution to our intelligence services, dismantling our missile defenses and gutting our military with budget cuts the redoubtable Hillary is shaming those evil dictators into ending their nuke and missile programs by holding up our noble moral example. She’s got Putin, Kim Jong Il, and Ahmedinejahd eating out of the palm of her hand. The Magic Of Diplomacy! Or should I say The Woman’s Touch? It wont be long at this pace before that thug Hugo Chavez is on his knees, with tears of repentance in his eyes, paying homage to our example of international good citizenship.

It turns out that the rejection of the Equal Rights Amendment to the Constitution was unconstitutional and now the court is moving one more step closer to recognizing that salient fact, or should I say injustice? Hey, where would we be without these geniuses? So Compassionate!

If This Is Friday It Must Be Belgium!

What country are we in today? Land Of The Brave, Home Of The Free? No WAY! This is a country overrun with retarded voters so stupid, so corrupt, so blind to their own interests that they have installed a political party with an agenda based 100% on lies. Global Warming; lie, temperatures are going down and even a report on the subject handed to our Beloved President by the EPA admits that the scientific case hasnt been made and that Climate Change was mainly political. The Stimulus Bill has had absolutely no effect on the economy because it wasnt a stimulus bill at all, another lie. They've doubled the Federal Budget overnight and lied about it. They are in the process of gutting the military and through weak and misguided actions like our pitiful non-response in Somalia putting the lawless and greedy on notice that America has lost the will to defend itself or its allies while they proclaim themselves heroes for shooting three pirates. Everything this crowd does is a lie. They were the ones who were going to eliminate earmarks...enough said.

In this country that has so lost its way, there is a city sitting on the tip of a peninsula jutting into the Pacific Ocean, forming a huge bay. The City is built on rolling hills and is blessed with ocean breezes and glorious views and is comprised of charming bay-windowed row houses and a gleaming steel-towered business district. This place of beauty is inhabited by rats. Every species of anti-individual, collectivist, utopian, militant, zany control freak thrives in this polluted intellectual broth. The world would be better if....you fill in the blank....if everyone stopped driving cars, if animals had rights and could vote, if everyone was gay, if the United States would disarm and grovel fulsomely to every benighted savage who has been armed by the local radicals with some obscure historical grievance, if we were all Wiccans, if we all wore plastic trash bags instead of clothes, if we all stopped wearing clothes at all, if we got rid of plastic trash bags, if we recycled to the point of madness, if we listened to Mother Earth, if this, if that; all of it with one thread- the world would be a perfect place if you other people would just do as I say. These geniuses have contempt for the rights of others. Your rights are the problem in utopian schemes. Everything has already been figured out in advance so no questions are even necessary. Just DO IT!

And when a community composed of such strangely obsessed pseudo-Marxist degenerates gets together to elect a representative to the House Of Representatives of the United States they so deeply despise, whose Pledge Of Allegence has long been chased from their schools, what do they come up with? What kind of a political monstrosity can a sick village like this inflict on a declining nation? When you have a political coalition that includes bikini-clad transvestites wearing nun's habits, Dolphins Rights advocates, members of zombie religious cults, members of Green Marxist groups, members of Red Marxist groups, people who want to kill anybody who doesnt want to Save The Planet, dissolute left-wing heirs to Robber Barons, coke freaks, Wiccans, Satanists, people who have anonymous sex in gay bathhouses, parks and on the internet, utopians, legal dopeans, GreenPeace, EarthNow!, bikers, computer programmers, website designers, Chinese human traffickers, Trekkies and a few moderate Democrats, what kind of a candidate do you come up with?

Its like a municipal intelligence test. Do you believe that the government can control the weather? That super-progressive high taxes are 'fair'? That the government can run the medical system better than the private sector? That the Islamonazis are not a threat to a people who recognize their just grievances? That the main threat to freedom in this country is Born-Again Christians? That dope should be legal? That plastic grocery bags are evil? That the government had nothing to do with the sub-prime bubble? That all business is evil? That people who make a profit are thieves, stealing from the poor? That every gun should be confiscated immediately? That the justice system has unfairly imprisoned many innocent people on the basis of race? That BUSHLIED! That America's Chickens Have Come Home To Roost? If you are this deluded, this stupid, this misguided, if you are wandering aimlessly in the fever-swamps of the Left then inevitably your little pointer will wander down the ballot, a ballot fully stocked with snake-charmers, Castroites and assorted oddballs and alight on the People's Choice for San Francisco...NANCY PELOSI!

Yes, this waif-thin sexagenarian, whose lift-job is so tight you could bounce a quarter off her tympany-tight mug, whose eyes bug out like a egg-laying hen in a factory farm thats been overdosed with chicken-meth. A scrawny wattle, always impervious to surgical intervention, runs from her fragile, pointed jaw, down her neck into her expensively suited starved carcass, belies her spurious claim to youth. She has been described by colleagues as 'crazy as a loon and meaner than a junkyard dog'. A control freak. What do you expect from a city composed of lunatic control freaks? She's also totally oblivious to how she comes across to the patches of the nation that still retain a semblance of sanity. What moment is more embarrassing than Nan in the designer Chairman Mao get-up popping up and down behind Barry The Wonderful during the State Of The Utopia message? She had an on-screen orgasm when he said that the days of private jets were over. You could see the muscles spasming under her perma-rigid face-mask and she gasped for breath through her tightly-stretched, bulging-lipped carp-mouth as the hands clapped so fast they were an invisible blur of sexual fever. This a few days after San Fran Nan was reported throwing a savage meltdown temper tantrum because the government jet she was assigned wasnt big enough. The little hands were flapping together like hummingbird wings behind Barry. It was so cracked that it actually defined him as the Saint Of The Crackpots. There was our National Crackpot behind him bobbing up and down like an amphetamine lap-dancer speed-clapping her skeletal talons together and swooning with extasy at The Telepromptered Word!

But something's wrong. Someone is out to get the cracked old broad. Who would be so sexist as to have it in for America's Most Powerful Woman? Here she is caught on the wrong side of the torture issue. Torture, from San Francisco. This is so shocking that many of Pelosi's supporters went into a rage and paddled their life-partners extra hard the evening the story broke. The cuffs were tight in Nob Hill boudoirs that night, I can tell you. More than harmless caterpillars were applied to the trembling torsos of acolytes at several cult-houses to try to assuage the outrage. Whips cracked, blood flowed through broken leather. The screams of the Enlightened echoed through the fog. But the damage is done. No matter how she tries to spin it the truth is out. Bush Lied...and so did OUR NANCY! At least Dick Cheney didnt try to deny that our Militant allies were given more than a stern talking to (the policy of the current administration). But of course we all hate Dick cheney..but San Fran Nan? Our Marxist National GrandMa? Can it be true?

They told her about waterboarding and caterpillars and she kept her mouth shut except when she opened it to lie about whether they told her or not. Given the current state of the media groveling at the feet of the government its interesting that this story is out at all. Why is Nan the goat? Why is her position suddenly so precarious? Has Barry turned on her? Is Rahm stabbing her in the back? A power-play by Hoyer? Who cares? The great thing is to watch the eyes bug-out with fear and the wattles tremble as she ineptly fields the questions of the tame Obamunist press. The Nixonian beads of sweat slowly carve Martian canals in the caked-on foundation as she is cruelly caught in lie after lie. The tightly-clasped horny-skinned talons clutching ever-tighter as she quivers with rabbit-like fear under the eye of Big Media.

The problem is that this benighted country has elected people like this and given them total power. The electoral system has just turned into a way for government cronies to aggrandize themselves at the expense of the common good. That goes for the Republiclowns too. Dummy Hastert should replace that slightly smaller pachyderm as the symbol of that claque of idea-less Chamber-of-Commerce silk-suited con-men. Changing parties wont cause one dollar of cuts in this avalanche of spending. The system is broken. The checks and balances that were so lovingly designed by a group of Founding Fathers, who had servants who were more aware and better educated than the average modern politician, have broken down in the hands of a political class that lacks the rudiments of common sense. And who is chosen as the most powerful leader among the leaders of this corrupt political class? Who can lead a group of thieves so dishonest, so merciless in their greed, such strangers to truth and probity? Nancy, Murtha, Hoyer, Waxman...these are the maggots who feast on the rotting corpse of our constitution. And the country keeps electing these geniuses. Its worked for the last seventy years. The Rep goes to Washington DC and 'brings home the bacon'. Its over. These idiots are leading us to bankruptcy and much sooner than you think. We elected them. Its our fault.

Let's All Move Toward The Center

Some people accuse me of being a hot-tempered, crackpot extremist. My wife thinks I'm a complete loony. After all, I dont have any assets to talk about. I drive a fifteen-year-old car and live in an earthquake-ravaged shack with a cracked slab foundation on a badly compacted cut- and-fill lot on a steep hillside which is only held in place by the varmint-infested vegetation which court-imposed water rationing will kill by the time the hot weather kicks in in July. During and after the Writer's Strike last year I spent a long stretch collecting unemployment from a beneficent state and didnt feel any shame in doing it. Then I got a night-shift job in a special FX house where I was consorting with sundry dead-end types. So why am I not a Democrat? Is it just sheer perversity?

And now the moderates have lowered the boom on us poor, discredited throwbacks by bringing up their big guns; to wit, Colin Powell and Megan McCain. They've convinced me that I've been wrong all along. Americans want more taxes and bigger government. Isnt that what Barry and the Gang ran on in last year's election? I remember Obama saying, "I'm going to raise your taxes so I can partially pay for a massive spending spree by Congress! The rest we'll Print!" Compelling stuff, kind of like Lincoln. And now Powell avers that if the Republicans dont jump on the Government Train they'll be left behind at the station. That makes me feel really bad because for the last two years in the pages of this blog I've been accusing those recalcitrant GOPers of already being on the Big Government Express. I guess they werent on board enough.

Now that Janet Napolitano has labeled conservatives as terrorists and extremists, unlike the 'militants' who were so mistreated at Club Gitmo, and Barry was seen cracking up as some dreary comedienne yelled that she hopes Rush Limbaugh's kidneys fail (gosh, I wish I'd thought up that line...its a corker!) maybe its time to jump on that speeding train myself instead of pointing to that signal that says that the bridge is out up the line.

Its funny though, just as I drop my extreme ideology and embrace the warm glow of Obamunism an article pops up in a newspaper that makes a moderate like me pretty danged angry.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/barackobama/5301078/
Barack-Obamas-rich-supporters-fear-his-tax-plans-show-hes-a-class-warrior.html

OK, its a furrin' newspaper and we all know what a bunch of alcohol-soaked sociopathic antisocial maniacs those British reporters are. They probably hire them in bars that cater to bender drunks who flunk out of anger-management therapy. Before I became a moderate I would cruise the electronic pages of The Sun or The Evening Standard just to tank up on inflammatory rhetoric and to dream of a couple of these sneering, cynical, reprobates being admitted to an Obama press conference instead of those reverent bootlicking brownnosers from the Obamunist media. But this story is from The Telegraph, which is a newspaper read by staid English conservatives; bankers by day, leather-clad spankers by night and wankers all the time. Folks who have never been fond of verbal excess in the newspapers they read.

The story is a cautionary tale for any banker or twee upper middle classnik. It seems some of Obama's richest supporters are concerned he might be taking his non-ideological moderation too far. They had all been thinking he was just another Bill Clinton, spooning out the class warfare blab for the rubes and forming a line at the side door for 'contributions'. We all (us moderates that is) knew Clinton was lying, it was part of his charm! We could just park our assets in states with no income tax or in offshore tax shelters, hand a bit of baksheesh to the powers that be and everything was copesthetic. All of those tax cheats Obama nominated for high office skated through previous audits, it was only when the honest accountants started checking them out in public that it turns out that all of them had some fishy tax problems. Thats the nice thing a bout moderation, you might choose to be moderately honest, but if you dont Who Cares? Nancy Pelosi just had Barry order Atty General Eric Holder to drop all investigations of moderate (aka Democrat) officeholders. You're one of the boys in this big, huge fraternity of public servants. And I'm going to be there on rush night to sign up for my slice of the moderate pie.

You see, as a moderate I get to hate some of the same half-wits I did when I was a terroristic Right-Wing nut! Only better. How many times have you stood, watching CNBC, thinking how nice it would be if Warren Buffet was stripped of every single penny, no matter who it was that did it? It seems ol' Warren is worried that these arent the same kind of moderates that the Clintons were. Ditto, Bill Gates. I dont care how much philantropic Save The Planet hogwash he spews, Gates having a hundred billion or so to spend however he likes means he hasnt been paying his fair share. Yeah! And Uncle Barak and the gang are going to do more than talk about it, especially as the Fairness Society slides into bankruptcy as a result of eight years of Bush mismanagement.

The first glimmers of fear are starting to enter the brains of the elite and wealthy geniuses who plunked down the cash that rocketed Barry to the White House. Glimmers that say that Barry believes every word he was saying on the campaign trail. They're beginning to listen to Nancy Pelosi and Henry Waxman with new ears. This Hope And Change stuff might be a little dicey if you are the ones holding all the assets when the Megastate goes bankrupt. They've already taxed the crap out of us little dopes. We're skint.

And now Steven Spielburg, its time for you to be skint too. You got hosed by Bernie Made-off and you got hosed by Barak Obama and now this is the part of the movie where the Obamasaurus eats your bank account, your many houses, your fleet of cars, your private jet, and all the other accoutrements of making an obscene profit, leaving you a gentile pauper like Ingmar Bergman with a 102% tax rate. Now thats a film I'll want to see twice! Enjoy the popcorn, fools!

Being a moderate is going to get better, too. As the tidal wave of cash being generated by the Fed and the obscene orgy of government spending reaches a crescendo the upper middle class, the smug granola eaters who rolled on the ground in an ecstasy of Obama-love during the last election, will abandon Whole Foods for Wal-Mart as inflation surges in like a tsunami and turns their dream castles in the retirement sands, the precious 401ks that they have devoted a lifetime of squirrel-like accumulation to gather, into a flat beach, a level beach, a more fair beach! A beach with no Global Warming, a beach with no traffic jams in a world where cars are assigned to government officials on the basis of need, a beach where squatters huddle in the ghostly, lightless ruins of the cheaply-built seaside mansions looking around at the jimcrack, rotting plasterboard and telling tales to their gape-mouthed, ragged, unbelieving children of the glittering world that has passed and gone.

I'll be smiling. I can accept my fate, whatever it is, if I know that the people who turned their backs on our free society and so blithely led us away from sense and sanity will someday know how wrong they were. Their bitter sense of betrayal will make up for all the condescension and smugness as they mapped out the landscape of Hope And Change in their little brains, a million different fantasies of No More Bush! They should have read a few of the books by 'old dead white men' that made the case for the old wealth-generating society but during the Vietnam War those books were expelled from Academia and replaced with the Marxist tomes that were absorbed so well by Barry and the Clintonoids.

So lets nationalize Microsoft, Apple, Berkshire-Hathaway, Soros Holdings, Disney, Dreamworks, B of A and all those huge enterprises run by the super libs who ignored reality and went for Hope And Change. We can turn them over to moderates in the unions or ACORN who will abandon the obscene quest for profits and concentrate on fairness and moderation. Like in Cuba or Venezuela. Maybe Micheal Moore can make a film about a new and more human America and call it 'Celsius Zero' to show that we're all caught like flies in amber by a frozen, rigid economy that doesnt let the rich and energetic steal from the poor and laid back. A moderate utopian paradise!

So, my conservative friends, its time to throw off the chains of free market economics, free speech, equality of all before the law, religion-based non-flexible morality and let the moderation flow into your hearts. Colin will he proud, so will Megan McCain. And if you dont get your minds right remember, we've got your names!

Quem Deus Vult Perdere Prius Dementat

Why is everybody so happy? They're talking in hushed tones of 'The First Hundred Days' of the Obama Era as if they had some palpable accomplishment to brag about. The Administration has snuck a few pieces of legislation through the legislative process and people who are paying attention are alarmed at many of their policies. CNBC, a business channel not normally given to political discourse, is inhabited by folks who are able to read and understand what these things mean and the business-types on that channel are aghast. Hard-core conservatives are predictably upset at what they see as a slide to destruction. Even some liberals are looking over the 'accomplishments' and becoming uneasy.

But if you get your news from the 30-second newsbreaks in the commercial intervals during 'Desperate Housewives' you're feeling pretty darn good about Barak. One glance at the cover of People Magazine will fill you with confidence and pride at America's wise political choice. Approval ratings are at 60%. Barak obliges this vast audience with plenty of images that show that he's as photogenic as Bill Clinton, swinging his golf club with a quiet insouciance with his eyes fixed firmly on the future that is just outside the bounds of the glowing photograph. At last, a Democrat who looks sharp in his tailored suit instead of that furtive little weasel Bush! I guess things can only get better, right? He's rolled up his sleeves and done something about the economic mess left to him by the Bush Administration and he's got a lot of swell new solutions for all our other problems so why shouldnt we support him?

But 'The Hundred Days' concept can refer to two incidents in history; the storm of legislation that began FDR's 12-year tenure in the White House or the return of Napoleon from Elba and his march to Waterloo. Both ended badly. Waterloo has become a synonym for hubristic disaster and FDR's hurricane of legislation did nothing to help the country out of the Great Depression and in fact can be accused not only of prolonging and deepening that depression but also can be looked on as the beginning of the trend that has brought us to the current crisis. One thing that Bonaparte and FDR had in common is a boundless energy that they threw into The Hundred Days. Wrongheaded as they were they moved forward rapidly and with purpose.

Not so the sluggish Obama. With a Speaker Of The House described by her colleagues as 'crazy and meaner than a junkyard dog' and possessing a complete lock on The House and a Senate with 59 Democrat votes, needing only one or two feeble RINO votes to perpetrate any legislative monstrosity Harry Reid needs to push through you would think we would be living in a People's Republic by now. But this legislative mountain has so far given birth to a couple of anemic baby mice. They've voted a trillion dollars in handouts to friends, donors and favored sectors of the electorate (labeled 'stimulus'). They've effectively doubled the federal budget. The banks have been strong-armed into the TARP program. A large sector of the auto industry has been nationalized and turned over to the union bosses who destroyed it in the first place. The defense budget has been slashed. But the 'liberal agenda' , the avalanche of legislation putting every dream of every crackpot left-wing college professor or union boss into law that Nancy Pelosi promised in the magic First Hundred Days is surprisingly missing.

Why? The American People have demanded more subsidies, especially in these critical times. This is a free country so where's all my free stuff? Free medical care--that's a right! Free college education for anybody who can scrawl their name on an admission application--another right! And what about the right to stay in your house when you cant pay the mortgage? The right of your union to charge your boss four or five times the wage rate people in other countries earn for the same work? The right of public employees to earn eighty percent of their gross pay (indexed for inflation, of course) when they retire after twenty years of service? The right of illegal aliens to all the benefits available to so-called 'citizens'. The government needs to fix the weather by replacing all smoking power plants with eco-friendly windmills and solar panels and also to replace all those stinky gasoline-powered cars with battery-powered cars that run just as well and eliminate the need for expensive petroleum. All those greedy bankers and CEOs need to be stripped of their bonuses and private jets so that The Children can have a decent education in our cash-starved schools.

The translation of the title of this piece is 'Whom the Gods would destroy they first make demented'. That might be a good replacement for 'In God We Trust' on our currency. The currency that will be increasingly worthless as each new wave of 'stimulus' is poured into a declining economy. The conservatives are waiting for the American People to catch on to the effects of all these Obamunist economic tricks and turn on their authors. Thats a nice thought, but its going to take a lot for these spoiled, dependent slobs to realize that their rights are unsustainable and unworkable and not rights at all. The dementia has eaten into America's brain. They really think that the government can fix the weather. They really think that they can retire at fifty with free medical care, a phat pension, mortgage relief, and an electric-powered Winnebago that will take them on a permanent tour of a well-maintained highway system in a country free from the fear of a terrorist attack or crime by illegal alien criminals surrounded by a world of democratic nations impressed by the sheer morality of America's admirable foreign policy. Thats how demented we have become.

The state of the political culture in this age of Obamunism is like one of those parties that some people throw in their beach houses on sandbank islands when a Category Five hurricane is approaching. What, Me Worry? Everyone is happy waiting for Daddy Obama and those caring, concerned Democrats to drop fat worms into our widely-opened mouths. We just declare the worms exist (nemitodii stimulatus) and there they are! The economic collapse of Europe is interesting but what does a 6% decline in GDP in Germany have to do with us? If the Taliban takes over in Pakistan why should we care? Nuclear Iran? Not our problem. Somali pirates? Hey maybe we can make a movie about these poor saps and have Johnny Depp play the Head Pirate just for laughs!

Because one of the worst mistakes of the Obamunists is the presenting of our bungling non-action in Somalia as some kind of a victory. The pirates got a green light for more thuggery and the world got the message that this four-flushing phony will take a victory on the cover of People Magazine instead of risking a real response to an international crisis. Another is our broadcasting to the world that we intend to prosecute the people who squeezed the secret plans of our Islamonazi terrorist enemies from them while we label our peaceful political opposition as potential terrorists. The world is also looking askance at the ever-increasing bond auctions of our Federal and State governments as they work to fulfill the rights they've told a gullible public they can expect.

So as Barry gives Hero Chavez the ghetto handshake the Taliban moves in for the kill in Pakistan, the North Koreans fire ballistic missiles into Japan's airspace, and Iran readies their first nuke for testing the American press goes insane complimenting BHO on our much-improved image in the world. As the banks slide further toward insolvency, the UAW seizes control of GM and Chrysler, the Fed pours vast oceans of money into a shrinking economy, the cap-and-trade disaster looms and unemployment creeps into double digits the press and the public are agog at the many accomplishments in this First Hundred Days of the New Age. If you deny that socialism doesnt work and I deny that socialism doesnt work then it works! Another Great President said something similar and he had a 60% approval rating, too.

Make no mistake. The problem that this country has is that everybody now expects to get more out of the system than they put in. Everybody. Its mass insanity. Dementia. The Gods are laughing. They know how this story ends. Obama isnt Achilles, he's Hector.

The Tea Party

I'm Mad as a Hatter and I'm not going to take it anymore! Wait, there's something really wrong with that sentence...Oh, I see! I am going to take it. Lots of it. All the time. More and more. Does that sound a little cynical? After all I'm a proud attendee of a Tea Party, one of the many protests against the creeping cancer of Obamunism that has made us forget the maddening bureaucrat who ran the government just a few months ago.

I never appreciated one of W's stronger qualities. He didnt cut the size of government. In fact it grew enormously under his stewardship. But he was pretty good at running that big, huge monstrosity. The actual screw-ups were few and when they popped up they were dealt with pretty effectively. Bush never overestimated what could or could not be done. Its telling that the greatest 'screw-up' of the Bush Administration was more of a public-relations defeat than an instance of actual incompetence. If you compare the Feds actions during Hurricane Katrina to the State Of Louisiana, run by the hopelessly incompetent Kathleen Blanco; or if you view the complete disintegration of the New Orleans city government and take note of the craven, cowardly behavior of its mayor and many of the members of its police and fire departments you'd have to admit that the Fed's initial paralysis, quickly overcome with the arrival of the military, was mild by comparison.

Bush didnt come off the rails until the financial dominoes started falling. His descent into Keynesianistic check-mailing was the first time he utterly abandoned any kind of conservatism and openly pursued liberal policies. His former liberal actions (immigration, education) were taken because these issues were being pushed hard in the media and by powerful political players. Bush didnt want to fight the trend and lose; he'd rather be part of a crappy deal after he had blunted the worst aspects of it in a compromise. But the check-mailing was no compromise with the liberals. Bush thought of it and pushed it. He hired Henry Paulsen (a Democrat) and worked on the bank bailout. There were alternatives, the repeal of the Sarbanes-Oxley mark-to-market accounting rules and the creation of liquidity by the Fed but I think Bush did the only politically possible thing he thought he could do.

But now we are in the hands of different people. Their fumbling, patently dishonest statements peg them as ideologues with absolutely no managerial skill at all. The gangsters in the legislature treat the Obama hippies with the contempt they deserve, sending up bills for President LePetomane to sign lustily as his Hedly Lamar-like Axelrod stands leering on the sidelines. Thinly-veiled contempt is what Obama gets from the majority of the world's leaders, appalled at grandstanding Barry's lack of gravitas. Ditto from the Somali pirates in their safe, unbombed pirate lairs. Everybody who deals with this clown comes away scratching their heads.

The freak-show claque of screwballs Barry has picked as Cabinet heads seem to be competing for who can say the dumbest, most offensively outrageous thing in front of a TV camera. Is Janet Napolitano doing as good a job at the HSA as she did governing Arizona? What moronities will The Smartest Woman In The Universe over at State utter next? Could Eric Holder be any more glassy-eyed and Orwellian? He's like the Trotsky of the Obama Revolution. Timothy Geithner's inept actions have sparked a panic to dump dollars at the same time he's peddling two trillion dollars of worthless bonds. And the beloved VP, Slow-Joe Biden, the man whose chia-pet-like plug-job is an inspiration to Hair Club members everywhere; what of his many weird statements? Every time he breaks loose from the well-guarded estate where he has been attending to extremely important business at the behest of Barry, the Bide-Man finds a camera and proves that he is by far the dumbest idiot who ever threatened to become president. The living, breathing argument against any of Janet Napolitano's angry returning veterans aiming their laser-guided weapons in Barry's direction. This is not a group that exudes managerial competence. The Chinese are frightened and appalled enough to be worried about their stash of dollars and not very receptive to buying any of the new bond issues that are being floated. There certainly arent hundreds of Chinese illegal immigrants donating to Barry the way they did with Hillary.

So if everyone else in the world, or should I say everybody in the world who doesnt watch Oprah and The Daily Show or read People Magazine, has a sneering contempt of Obamunism and sees it for the con that it is, why, when a few flag-waving conservatives gather on some windy, cold street corners to protest the direction in which things are going, are we labeled extremist nuts? Is Sarkozy an extremist nut? The entire British press corps? Well, I'm not either. I just see what is obvious.

Now some of my fellow demonstrators definitely fit into the high-fiber definition. Is abolishing the income-tax or the Federal Reserve a politically viable position at the moment? No, its crazy talk. So is fervent opposition to abortion. You can argue these things until you are blue in the face but the fact remains that they are completely politically impossible at this time and saying them loudly, as though they are the main point isolates you politically. And if these are your only issues, if the present danger doesnt make you want to sublimate them and fight for the survival of our most basic economic and political freedoms then you are as useless as any Earth Day-worshiping liberal. There was an odd assortment of Ron Paulians and people with over-the-top political obsessions present but most of the people in that windy plaza were just regular types, frightened by what they see coming. A surprising number of young people.

The sense that I felt from the Tea Party I attended in the giant government complex in Van Nuys was that we had to get together to stop the things that are happening now, not yell about pie-in-the-sky issues that are decades away from resolution. If we dont all drop our little personal agendas and just work to oppose the people who now have almost total power those other issues will become meaningless. As it is we are faced with a government which is about to embark on one of the greatest social engineering schemes in world history. They are going to fix the weather. I dont say that with any sense of satire or irony, that is exactly what they plan to do. What has happened in the last two months is nothing. The EPA has announced today that dozens of chemicals are 'greenhouse gases that are threats to human health'. They dont need any legislation or action from the executive branch to begin the crusade against your car, your refrigerator, your air-conditioner, your job, your way of life.

The courts will mandate that these Evil, Greedy Corporations stop releasing Greenhouse Gas and impose punitive damages to be collected by greedy lawyers and New Age non-profit foundations. The courts will rule your car unconstitutional. The courts have now reached the point where they can rule anything they want and that ruling has the effect of law. The Constitution has become malleable in the hands of these leftists and has lost all its meaning. They can now invoke the EPA finding and close every fossil-fuel-burning power plant in the country. The feeble, expensive stream of windmill and solar-panel generated electricity into your house will be enough to run a few dim, mercury-filled, hazardous light bulbs and your computer (which will also be your TV set, phone, link with the world). Do you think I'm kidding? You think these hippies are going to let you keep that chloro-fluorocarbon-filled refrigerator which is writing a death-warrant for polar bears and melting the polar ice caps? Think again, Amigo.

The people at the Tea Party, from the crazies to the average folks who were there, could quote the liberal's rhetoric very accurately. It was a nice crowd but there werent any newbies. These were all hard-core anti government, anti-liberals. It was like the Peace Movement in 1966. The masses hadnt caught on and so everyone had the same sense of purpose in the face of what looked like overwhelming odds. Everyone I talked to had a level of awareness that was very satisfying to me. They all knew that spending trillions of dollars on absolute nonsense would wreck the currency. They all knew that the State Of California didnt have a prayer to avoid fiscal calamity. They knew that these genius's ludicrous attempt to influence the weather was a pathway to serfdom and poverty. It was like being around old friends. No one needed to say very much. The Present Danger was apparent to all.

But can the juggernaut be stopped? Not with this crowd. Not in this political system. The system will fail on its own and then we are in tremendous danger. Democracy is not working. The legislators of both parties are too prone to handing out goodies to their friends, the lifetime judges have become enamored of imposing their social theories on us peasants from the bench, the permanent bureaucracy has a mind and life of its own. There is no controlling legal authority. When the sheet hits the fan the frightened population will dump what remains of its freedom looking for easy answers; the election of these Democrats proves that. A man on a horse will emerge to pick up the pieces.

As I left the Tea Party I rode home on The Orange Line, part of a giant tens of billions of dollars mass transit boondoggle that was designed to peaceably separate Angelenos from their beloved automobiles. An expensive failure. The only Angelenos that were riding it when I did were Spanish-speaking folks who came to this country because here, if you work hard and get a little bit ahead, you can buy yourself a car. Too late fellas! Los coches son el mal. (Cars are evil.)

What Do Women Want?

In the century since Sigmund Freud asked that question many people have tried to answer that question, with varying degrees of success. Have the most penetrating answers come from the world of psychiatry? The overfunded 'Feminist Studies' departments of elite universities? Sage philosophers after much deep pondering? Nope. None of these wise-guys have ever brought any insight to this important question.

So who knows? Who can penetrate the very inner souls of our female wives, daughters, girlfriends, colleagues, and friends? Its so obvious and so simple---the people who make automatic dishwashers! Yes guys, while we would be perfectly happy to have every dish we own coated with a hardened layer of whatever frozen entree we microwaved onto it and laying unwashed in the sink while the hungry cats try to lick some sustenance from the caked-on fossilized goo women are not so easy-going. Even if they are not even in the same room as the dirty dishes they will never be happy or relaxed knowing that they are sitting there, calling out to be sparkling clean and sitting happily in their proper place in the cabinet.

The ancient Chinese pictograph for 'contentment' is a woman under a roof. The modern American pictograph would be a woman standing next to a dishwasher. She pours the viscous oozing liquid into the little plastic door, snaps it shut, closes the door, hits a couple of buttons and PRESTO! the next morning her or her significant other removes all the past day's previously dirty, but now shining clean, dishes and places them in their proper places. Its like the cycle of life; some dishes are used every day. The breakfast ones only stay in their appointed storage places for a few minutes. Some dishes are used intermittently. Some so rarely that its hard to remember where they go. But even a husband can be trusted to load the dishwasher (if there's not too many glasses, dishes, cooking bowls and pots and pans), and males are even capable of operating this simple domestic machine. Well-trained husbands can even unload with a fair degree of accuracy.

Since the middle of the 20th century this time-honored ecology of spotless dishes has ground on in countless households. Unchanging, timeless. But outside of the kitchen a new reality was taking hold in the bigger, wider world in which the innocent dishwashers were a tiny, unnoticed corner of reality, chugging away contentedly freeing women from the chore of washing dishes and men from the occassional guilt of either not washing dishes or sitting by shamefacedly while their female companion washes them. Women began to seize power. They looked around at the Male Patriarchy permeating every aspect of our traditional culture and said, "Enough!" They listened to Oprah and Rachel Maddow and they wised up to the raw deal they've been getting since the first protozoan crawled from the sea two billion years ago. They voted for Freedom, the voted for Progress, they voted for Women's Rights, they voted for Democrats! Radical Democrats, the Redder the better. The Planet is in mortal danger from these hairy testosterone apes, humanity's hope for survival has been left in the sink caked with a layer of hardened patriarchal slime while these clods go off to surf for porn on the internet. The Redder the better and the Greener the better.

But one day, in Spokane, Washington, anywhere USA, a funny thing happened...a woman woke up at the usual time and went to the dishwasher and removed--a DIRTY DISH! In fact, all the dishes were covered with a thin, sticky film of slime. They werent clean! How had this happened? Its simple. In the name of the Planet the local pols had decreed that there should be No More Phosphates in any dishwashing liquid sold in Spokane County. The vile, planet-destroying, capitalist-enriching detergents were gone, replaced with eco-friendly, mixed-with-love, life-sustaining brands. Just one thing was wrong. All the wonderful, Planet-saving, Green detergents wont get dishes clean. The Big Lie of Environmentalism, that only a few minor adjustments to our lives will bring us back into harmony with the Goddess Gaia and her beautiful cycle of life, was writ large on the kitchen walls of Spokane. That there was no problem before doesnt matter. We have to Go Green! So Spokane, which had been existing quite happily with clean dishes has mandated dirty dishes just to do it. Because they care; and if you dont care you're part of the problem.

Of course the Spokanians arent the sort of folks to take this crap lying down. The Costco across the border in Coeur D'Alene, Idaho has been stripped of phosphate dishwashing liquids by alarmed and panicked residents of Spokane. We are living in an age of dishwashing liquid smugglers. Husbands and fathers have been forced to not shave for a couple of days and drive banged-up pickup trucks across the border to load up on 'suds' and drive back into Washington, pretending to be drunk, to throw off the sharp-eyed County Sheriffs who have been pulling over housewives in mini-vans whose springs and shocks are sagging under a heavy load of phosphate-loaded goo and making arrests.

"Whutta buncha saps!" you laugh? This particular 'Green' notion is more widespread than just Spokane. The same people who ripped the cigarette from your lips, are trying to outlaw your pickup truck and replace it with an electric wheelchair and empowered every old biddy in the universe to start squawking about your murderous hamburger habit are on a roll. And they hate your dishwasher. That power-guzzling, water-polluting waste of resources all used to make your pathetic little life 'easier'. You dont care about the Planet very much, do you? And these are the maniacs who won the last election. They were elected by a crowd of people who wanted change. Those people didnt know what 'change' meant but it sounded pretty good after looking at Bush's ugly little face for eight years. And if you're going to vote for The Big O why not go down-ballot and vote Green as well? That'll fix them greedy polecats on Wall Street!

But again their contentment has been shattered by another intrusion by the Busybody State. Now, that's OK with me. I would be happy to return to washing out utensils on a Need To Use basis. But I'm married. The corollary to the question, "What Do Women Want?" is "What Do Women Hate?". The answer, of course, is a sink full of dirty dishes, dishwasher liquid that doesnt work, and a husband, tired from a day of honest toil, settling happily down into comfortable bliss in a soft sofa or easy chair with not a care in the world. What woman would sit still for that? So, now that the communist lunatics that she voted for have ruined her life, who is it who is going to pay for it?

Men, that's who! How many three-pointers are going to sail into the basket while you're in the kitchen up to your elbows in soap suds and hot greasy water? In fact, even when you're done your return to comfort will be in a room dominated by the noise of happy residents painting the walls in their houses strange, florid colors as insanely gay men talk about 'window treatments' and granite countertops. Yes she has taken advantage of the crisis caused by her socialist allies to seize the remote. Hope And Change, like any other system, has winners and losers and guess what you former Male Patriarch...You Lose! Is she going to start voting for people who will protect the integrity of her dishwashing liquid? Nope. She's just going to get a new dishwasher--that would be you, amigo!

And if us older curmudgeons are helpless what of our sons? Those poor, hapless lads whose innocent high-jinks were rewarded with mind-twisting counseling and a lifetime addiction to Ritalin and who have been bombarded with feminist and eco-greenie propaganda since birth? They'll have the burgers ripped from their lips, the 4 wheel drive will disappear from their axles, contact sports will be outlawed but these doughy little wusses wont have the nads to vote for their own freedom. They'll continue to Save The Planet. Enjoy doing the dishes fellas! The vacuum cleaner is next.

Blue Dog Bull Pucky

I just got done reading an article on Real Clear politics.com about how the so-called 'Blue Dog Democrats' are worried that the morons who voted for them might not be on board as the Obamunists adopt the policies that made Albania the economic powerhouse that it is today. (http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2009/04/centrist_dems_dogged_if_they_d.html).

Blue Dogs from Purple districts worried about spending too much Green money by the Reds running their party...what a pile of horse dookey! THERE ARE NO MODERATE DEMOCRATS! If your Representative or Senator voted to make Nancy 'Stretch' Pelosi Speaker Of The House or Harry 'The Body' Reid Senate Majority Leader then they are a dyed-in-the-wool out-and-out commie left-wing socialist America-hating anti-capitalist freedom-ending radical Marxist. The only difference between a 'Blue Dog' Democrat and Chuck Schumer or Barney Frank is that the 'Blue Dogs' have constituencies slightly less politically retarded than the Bright Blue centers of socialist idiocy and are forced to lie about who they really are so that they can hornswoggle normally sensible people into voting for them. You would think it was obvious that residents of Nebraska or Virginia would have more sense than people who live in New York, California or Massachusetts, thats a no brainer, but look at the lying liberal weasels they send to the Senate; Jim 'Melonhead' Webb, who ran as Ronald Reagan and votes like Hugo Chavez, and that sneaky sloped-brow pinko Neanderthal Ben Nelson, who is always involved in thoughtful dialog with RINO Republicans like Arlen Spectacle, Olympia Snow-Job and Thusan Collinth, crafting filibuster-proof majorities in the Senate for the latest attack on our country dreamed up by the Stalinist Leadership. Obamunists all. So any time you vote for any Democrat for any office, no matter how 'moderate' they pretend to be, remember that you are voting to decrease your freedom, raise your taxes, fund extremist groups, deny American sovereignty, cut the military and further destroy a country that was once the beacon of hope and freedom to the entire world.

But right now the tidal wave of cash printed by the Fed and handed out to all and sundry by the beneficent megastate is having the effect of temporarily halting the headlong slide to rock bottom. It seems a few rays of sunlight are peeking through the gray gloom of Obamunism and lending a faint hope to the immediate present. The crash was like when the lights go out in a tough waterfront bar; a lot of scores get settled. In this case companies who were dying to clean house did it all at once under the cover of the general emergency. It seemed that all of a sudden everyone I knew either got laid off or was fearing a layoff...including my wife who is a low-paid library aide running a library in an elementary school. At least in the film industry you expect to get laid off but a friend of mine is a Civil Engineer at the same job for decades who was completely unglued by layoffs at his company. His 401k has lost two-thirds of its value, his mortgage is 'under water' and he's been forced to take a 20% pay-cut. Better than being one of the 50% of his firm who got the boot, I suppose. An Obama voter, too, but it would be stupid to rub that in his face right now. Wait till election time. Lets see how eager he is to re-elect Henry Waxman.

But the current calm is deceptive. The infusion of bogus cash created by the Fed might have roused the stock market a bit but the firing of corporate CEOs by the government and a crop of legislation completely deleterious to any expansion of economic activity bode ill for the future. As does a precipitous drop in tax revenues and an increasing load on pension plans and Social Security by laid off older workers who want to take early retirement. Social Security, supposed to be in surplus until 2017, is soon to be in the red. In the red even without the anticipated addition of tens of millions of illegal aliens made eligible for SSI handouts by 'immigration reform'.

Meanwhile, the ever-lovable Barney Frank has shepherded a bill through committee without debate that would give the government control over all salaries. Confiscatory Federal and State tax hikes are going to make any income over $150k completely meaningless--and inflation is going to put a raft of Obamunists who were shouting, "Eat The Rich!" from their low tax-brackets all of a sudden on the hook for a bunch of unexpected taxes. The upper middle class bourgeois bedroom-community granola-eaters will be feeling the bite of this as every penny that they worked and saved for is lost. There is already a problem of abandoned unsellable small boats, too expensive to moor and maintain, cluttering the coastal waters as owners ditch the useless hulks in a desperate effort to cut their bottom-line costs. Another industry destroyed.

And if wage controls are put in place can price controls be far behind? If hyper-inflation is a problem why not just pass a law against it? That'll create a nice sunny business climate, along with the inevitable shortages and disruptions that those kind of controls always cause. So if you've got anything in the stock market sell on the current upswing and then buy a ton of non-perishable consumer goods and stash them in your garage so you will have plenty of stuff to trade on the black market. Avoid gold which the greedy megastate always confiscates from the idiots who think their horde of dubloons will tide them through the tough times. Even if the government forgets to confiscate them what will they be worth? A can of beans? Better to invest in the can of beans, they're a lot cheaper and if you dont trade them you can still eat them.

But dont tell your friends, whatever you do. One of the characteristics of socialism is that it engenders total selfishness and dishonesty in the people live under it. You dont tell anyone what you've got going because trading your can of beans for a new t-shirt is illegal. Hoarding your can of beans is illegal. Making any profit of any kind is illegal. So keep your mouth shut and cry poor.

Meanwhile, enjoy the calm before the storm and enjoy being able to oppose this madness. The life of a socialist peon is a life of the mind, the life of an artist. You'll have time to surf the web and dandle your grandchildren on your knee. You're as successful now as you are ever going to be so dont worry about it.Socialism is the art of cruising through life without making waves. You run your little scams and enjoy what you can cheat out of the system.

Thats the world that our moderate Democrat friends and their bi-partisan Republican allies have dragged us into. The hard-core Obamunists will do all the heavy lifting, but really, what are the chances that we'll elect people who will go to DC or the Statehouse and make REAL cuts? Zero. We can enjoy all the tea parties we want but everyone is getting a subsidy of some sort and its ingrained in our minds that they belong to us by right. The Bill Of Rights is less important than my right to my Social Security check or my right to a cheap, subsidized class in 'Pornography In World History' at the local community college. We just have to learn to adapt and wait for the wind to change.